This is an article I read this morning on finding happiness.  I've been working on a lot of this myself and can attest that some of the happiest times of my life outside the births of my children, my newlywed years and my church mission were all based on these principles.  Specifically, the section about doing random acts of kindness for others on a consistent basis... surefire guarantee to put a smile on your face for the long term.  Another great point was that it is becoming FACT that you can improve your happiness.  You're not stuck with one set level as evidenced by the researchers in Germany.  Many individuals changed their 'happiness meter' by 3 points on a scale of 1-10 using various techniques. 

Researchers seek routes to happier life

By MALCOLM RITTER, AP Science Writer

NEW YORK - As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Caroline Adams Miller knows a few things about using mental exercises to achieve goals. But last year, one exercise she was asked to try took her by surprise.

Every night, she was to think of three good things that happened that day and analyze why they occurred. That was supposed to increase her overall happiness.

"I thought it was too simple to be effective," said Miller, 44, of Bethesda. Md. "I went to Harvard. I'm used to things being complicated."

Miller was assigned the task as homework in a master's degree program. But as a chronic worrier, she knew she could use the kind of boost the exercise was supposed to deliver.

She got it.

"The quality of my dreams has changed, I never have trouble falling asleep and I do feel happier," she said.

Results may vary, as they say in the weight-loss ads. But that exercise is one of several that have shown preliminary promise in recent research into how people can make themselves happier — not just for a day or two, but long-term. It's part of a larger body of work that challenges a long-standing skepticism about whether that's even possible.

There's no shortage of advice in how to become a happier person, as a visit to any bookstore will demonstrate. In fact, Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and colleagues have collected more than 100 specific recommendations, ranging from those of the Buddha through the self-improvement industry of the 1990s.

The problem is, most of the books on store shelves aren't backed up by rigorous research, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, who's conducting such studies now. (She's also writing her own book).

In fact, she says, there has been very little research in how people become happier.

Why? The big reason, she said, is that many researchers have considered that quest to be futile.

For decades, a widely accepted view has been that people are stuck with a basic setting on their happiness thermostat. It says the effects of good or bad life events like marriage, a raise, divorce, or disability will simply fade with time.

We adapt to them just like we stop noticing a bad odor from behind the living room couch after a while, this theory says. So this adaptation would seem to doom any deliberate attempt to raise a person's basic happiness setting.

As two researchers put it in 1996, "It may be that trying to be happier is as futile as trying to be taller."

But recent long-term studies have revealed that the happiness thermostat is more malleable than the popular theory maintained, at least in its extreme form. "Set-point is not destiny," says psychologist Ed Diener of the University of Illinois.

One new study showing change in happiness levels followed thousands of Germans for 17 years. It found that about a quarter changed significantly over that time in their basic level of satisfaction with life. (That's a popular happiness measure; some studies sample how one feels through the day instead.) Nearly a tenth of the German participants changed by three points or more on a 10-point scale.

Other studies show an effect of specific life events, though of course the results are averages and can't predict what will happen to particular individuals. Results show long-lasting shadows associated with events like serious disability, divorce, widowhood, and getting laid off.

The boost from getting married, on the other hand, seems to dissipate after about two years, says psychologist Richard E. Lucas of Michigan State University.

What about the joys of having children? Parents recall those years with fondness, but studies show childrearing takes a toll on marital satisfaction, Harvard psychologist Daniel Gilbert notes in his recent book, "Stumbling on Happiness." Parents gain in satisfaction as their kids leave home, he said.

"Despite what we read in the popular press," he writes, "the only known symptom of 'empty nest syndrome' is increased smiling."

Gilbert says people are awful at predicting what will make them happy. Yet, Lucas says, "most people are happy most of the time." That is, in a group of people who have reasonably good health and income, most will probably rate a 7.5 or so on a happiness scale of zero to 10, he says.

Still, many people want to be happier. What can they do? That's where research by Lyubomirsky, Seligman and others comes in.

The think-of-three-good-things exercise that Miller, the motivational speaker, found so simplistic at first is among those being tested by Seligman's group at the University of Pennsylvania.

People keep doing it on their own because it's immediately rewarding, said Seligman colleague Acacia Parks. It makes people focus more on good things that happen, which might otherwise be forgotten because of daily disappointments, she said.

Miller said the exercise made her notice more good things in her day, and that now she routinely lists 10 or 20 of them rather than just three.

A second approach that has shown promise in Seligman's group has people discover their personal strengths through a specialized questionnaire and choose the five most prominent ones. Then, every day for a week, they are to apply one or more of their strengths in a new way.

Strengths include things like the ability to find humor or summon enthusiasm, appreciation of beauty, curiosity and love of learning. The idea of the exercise is that using one's major "signature" strengths may be a good way to get engaged in satisfying activities.

These two exercises were among five tested on more than 500 people who'd visited a Web site called "Authentic Happiness." Seligman and colleagues reported last year that the two exercises increased happiness and reduced depressive symptoms for the six months that researchers tracked the participants. The effect was greater for people who kept doing the exercises frequently. A followup study has recently begun.

Another approach under study now is having people work on savoring the pleasing things in their lives like a warm shower or a good breakfast, Parks said. Yet another promising approach is having people write down what they want to be remembered for, to help them bring their daily activities in line with what's really important to them, she said.

Lyubomirsky, meanwhile, is testing some other simple strategies. "This is not rocket science," she said.

For example, in one experiment, participants were asked to regularly practice random acts of kindness, things like holding a door open for a stranger or doing a roommate's dishes, for 10 weeks. The idea was to improve a person's self-image and promote good interactions with other people.

Participants who performed a variety of acts, rather than repeating the same ones, showed an increase in happiness even a month after the experiment was concluded. Those who kept on doing the acts on their own did better than those who didn't.

Other approaches she has found some preliminary promise for include thinking about the happiest day in your life over and over again, without analyzing it, and writing about how you'll be 10 years from now, assuming everything goes just right.

Some strategies appear to work better for some people than others, so it's important to get the right fit, she said.

But it'll take more work to see just how long the happiness boost from all these interventions actually lasts, with studies tracking people for many months or years, Lyubomirsky said.

Any long-term effect will probably depend on people continuing to work at it, just as folks who move to southern California can lose their appreciation of the ocean and weather unless they pursue activities that highlight those natural benefits, she said.

In fact, Diener says, happiness probably is really about work and striving.

"Happiness is the process, not the place," he said via e-mail. "So many of us think that when we get everything just right, and obtain certain goals and circumstances, everything will be in place and we will be happy.... But once we get everything in place, we still need new goals and activities. The Princess could not just stop when she got the Prince."

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I also liked the part that said the benefits of where you live wear off if you don't get out and enjoy those benefits.  How true!  We moved to Houston for all the fine dining, the warm weather, the proximity to the ocean, a hub for Continental (cheap flights and travel), commitment to the arts and bargain real estate values.  We don't enjoy it nearly enough.  I've made a commitment to my wife to work longer hours for fewer days and spend weekends getting out and living life.  More to follow!

Below is a quote I'm fond of -- it's quoted from a religious leader named Heber J.Grant, who got it from the National Fifth Reader, which I'm assuming was a school book in the early 1900's.  It details in particular a story of perseverance to be learned from, of all things, an ant.

“Never Despair.”

“There is no trait of human character so potential for weal or woe as firmness. To the business man it is all important. Before its irresistible energy, the most formidable obstacles become as cobweb barriers in its path. Difficulties, the terror of which causes the pampered sons of luxury to shrink back with dismay, provoke from the man of lofty determination only a smile. The whole story of our race—all nature, indeed—teems with examples to show what wonders may be accomplished by resolute perseverance and patient toil.

“It is related of Tamerlane, the celebrated warrior, the terror of whose arms spread through all the eastern nations, and whom victory attended at almost every step, that he once learned from an insect a lesson of perseverance, which had a striking effect upon his future character and success.

“When closely pursued by his enemies—as a contemporary tells the anecdote—he took refuge in some old ruins, where, left to his solitary musings, he espied an ant tugging and striving to carry a single grain of corn. His unavailing efforts were repeated sixty-nine times, and at each time [as] soon as he reached a certain point of projection, he fell back with his burden, unable to surmount it; but the seventieth time he bore away his spoil in triumph, and left the wondering hero reanimated and exulting in the hope of future victory.

“How pregnant the lesson this incident conveys! How many thousand instances there are in which inglorious defeat ends the career of the timid and desponding, when the same tenacity of purpose would crown it with triumphant success! Resolution is almost omnipotent. Sheridan was at first timid and obliged to sit down in the midst of a speech. Convinced of, and mortified at, the cause of his failure, he said one day to a friend, ‘It is in me, and it shall come out.’

“From that moment he arose, and shone, and triumphed in a consummate eloquence. Here was true moral courage. And it was well observed by a heathen moralist, that it is not because things are difficult that we dare not undertake them.

“Be, then, bold in spirit. Indulge no doubts—they are traitors. In the practical pursuit of our high aim, let us never lose sight of it in the slightest instance: for it is more by a disregard of small things than by open and flagrant offenses, that men come short of excellence. There is always a right and a wrong; and if you ever doubt, be sure you take not the wrong. Observe this rule, and every experience will be to you a means of advancement.”

“Never Despair” has been one of the guiding stars of my life, as I have often felt that I could not afford to be outdone by an insect."



So lately we've been struggling mightily as evidenced by our dipping feedback.  A couple months back, I thought the worst was over.  We had some system issues related to a new listing service provider that caused us to sell a ton of stuff with free shipping that was far from free to ship.  It cost a lot of time and money to explain the errors, issue refunds, ship out the ones that insisted on shipment, etc. 

Then we had supply issues related to our primary product - iPods.  Apple stopped shipping the products we sold when they launched new iPods; here I thought we'd have plenty available.  Who'd guess that a distributor like Apple wouldn't have inventory of the old, outgoing model?  They didn't ship our orders until we'd paid full price to others on the ones we'd sold, and that was far too long for our buyers to wait.  So that left us with overstock on items we stopped selling, and little money to buy anything else until we sold off even MORE of the old stuff. 

So when we tried to start selling the new lines, we're told "We're changing the reseller program, you can't buy for now".  !!!  We've had 4-5 such instances now where we've had to change distributors, but this time it appears may be one of the last times we faithfully and dutifully just say "okay" and deal with it.  We're going to be proactive vs. reactive to the situation and really review our business model and change so that we don't continue to suffer the negative feedback on eBay that's costing us our customer base, our reputation, our sanity.

And yet, according to the post above, the mighty ant struggled with its burden seventy times before overcoming the small rise and bringing its reward triumphantly home.  Can I afford to be outdone by an insect?  Can I afford to throw my hands up over any setback?  I reckon I can't; I certainly can't without expecting any other outcome but defeat.  Someone else isn't going to fight my battles for me.  Someone else isn't going to bring me happiness and success on a silver platter.  Someone else isn't going to bring my customers back for me.  Someone else isn't going to run my business for me, and I don't want them to.  But at the same time, if I'm having problems, then I need to act, not react.  I need to show myself and my buyers what I'm made of.

Today we're going to email everyone who's left a negative and ask them what we can do to satisfy them, to remedy the situation, to right the wrong.  We're going to ask, and we're going to go the distance to show them what we're made of.  We'll take it from there and see what happens.

Dealus Maximus (ID dealus-maximus)

Apple prepping intelligent iPod?

   

 So Apple's gone and done it again -   


Wow, check out Apple's site for more.  These are amazing systems; I'm wiping drool from my clothing as I type this...

Dealus Maximus

Check our store soon for these; we're Apple resellers.